The first time I had to think in this life, (this present one that I am living on Earth – for I know now that I have been to other places beyond Earth too in some other existences on different missions); if I had to recall will clearly be when a question was posed to me.
Perhaps it may have been something as mundane as ‘What is your name?’ or “How old are you?’ – it is nevertheless a question that starts everything! Isn’t it?
At the time those questions were asked I had been clear that such a question (like the two mentioned above) could have only one possible correct answer. That however is not how I see it today. Firstly, I have many names, really I do – and I answer to all of them with equal ease, and no I don’t feel split in any way – all the names still add up to me – a single mom in her early forties, doing what she loves to do! And that brings us to the next question. Yes, my age. That varies too! Those that are close to me, real close know my real age and those that are not will know what is printed on documents. WOW! Talk about evidence!
That said I guess I can safely direct our attention to the fifteen questions that I had asked on my Facebook beginning 27th September, partly because I had nothing much to do that day and was kind of bored – so I thought it would be nice to get folks off Farmville and jog their minds to THINK about stuff in their lives (some got upset that I was ruining their Facebook experience because they come there to chill not THINK) – just as I have been doing for about two years now and finally beginning to enjoy this journey that is called ‘life’. I believe I am truly living it now, while for 40 years (true age!!!!) I had been merely existing…
The first question that was put up was ‘How much honesty can you handle?’ – people answered this so honestly! I trust I have established by now that for me it is 100% - yes, I can handle it; and I make it a point to be that at all times – losing many ‘friends’ in the bargain – and that is perfectly okay with me. I was, am and will be a 100% kind of person. I believe in the truth – and that ‘the truth shall set us free’.
Now the answers that came forth were unique to each one of us and the reason for that is that we see the world as it was shown to us by our well-wishers and elders for what they believed was good for us, to help us in life – at that time we did not know any better, so accepted their beliefs as our belief system; and in some cases we were forced to do so – even if we wanted to believe in something different we were made not to. Some of our beliefs were formed based on our experiences too, so if we were too honest about something and got spanked in the bargain – we learnt not to be soooooo honest the next time around. We all want to avoid pain afterall.
The entire thing has been happening subconsciously to all of us – no one is excluded from this. Most of our beliefs are not really ours. This had made some of us believe that the ‘honesty’ they displayed had to be according to the person in front of them, some believed it is better to not give an honest feedback as it could humiliate, embarrass or insult the person concerned and that they will figure it out anyway. Someone said 99% and one said 100%, another said that people called them rude when all they were doing was being honest.
Finally, it all came to the realization that each one of us has our own ‘gradings’ that we conveniently pull out largely because we want to be seen as nice human beings. No one wants to risk being cast aside because they were too honest and the one in front of them could not handle it. This is perfectly okay according to me – we are social beings – and Facebook kind of manages to prove that, doesn’t it? It is okay to wish to be liked by as many people on the planet as possible, however my take is that when we conveniently alter our percentage of honesty to suit the person in front of us – the first person that we are causing great harm to is ourselves…after all we are inside what we project outside, and a dishonest front means there is something in us that is deep within being dishonest too.
Whenever people have said to me that I am too honest, my question to myself is, ‘Do I really want to live with being dishonest to myself?’, or ‘Do I wish to dilute my honesty?’ because in the end it is only my journey that will get impacted and in all this kindness of not hurting someone and not being absolutely true I am hindering my growth and actually not helping the person in front of me either. I used to be a very honest and often a very rude person. Only recently have I learnt to be honest and cut out the rudeness…so for those who are in similar situations there is hope – work on yourself and the world will allow the honestly to flow through because even they can see through you when you are being fake! And silently saying in their head ‘What a Liar!’ Honestly do you really believe that the average person cannot see through dishonesty?
So why not just be honest, gently and politely; and state that that is your opinion and not anything but an opinion – and just like everything in life, give the other person a chance to know the truth (even though it is your perception of it) so that perhaps they can see their life or themselves differently; if they CHOOSE to. I would say it is better to add that there is no judgement on your part – just your opinion, and this is how you see it and of course the other person can agree to disagree – at least you would have been honest – and trust me when we are truly honest to ourselves it is possible to be so with others and they will (in the longer period) come to respect you for that. I have gained a lot from my friends who have been honest with me, and I respect them for that. Many have been ‘angels’ that came to guide me and those that really helped me to improve were those that were honest and not those that flattered me up!
The second question was, ‘How much respect do you deserve?’ I loved the one that said – ‘It has to be earned’. Of course! That was the whole point of this, just like trust we can earn respect and to get all that we deserve - but we have to start with ourselves again. First self-respect, then it all follows. Respect has nothing to do with your status in society, your achievements, it is just a reflection of who you really are at all times, with or without the power, name and fame. Yes, it is earned and it is granted to us in return by all those and more to whom we show respect in the first place. It is very infectious in the sense that even a small amount given will bring it back thousandfold. If there is any good thing to invest in then that is respect, self and others. It’s only my opinion.
‘How much love do you give?’ was the third question and interestingly people re-acted with ‘Can you measure love?’ – the fact that the question was being read that way shows how the moment the word ‘much’ comes into play was see it as a quantity. (We choose not to read between the lines). In my opinion I was just saying how much of the love that you are capable of feeling do you give, (and deliberately left out the details, because love is a feeling not a thing); just to be able to understand if we give all the love that we have the capacity to give or do we give in parts…it was not a percentage kind of a question and put there to make us think, as to why is she saying ‘much’ in a love question, because it is true that love cannot be measured but only felt…and if we are 'keeping away some love for someone special' those around us instinctively know it…is it therefore fair to the husband to instinctively know that the wife is not really all there, and vice-a-versa. (This applies to any relationship not just spouses). This is my perception, and there is no judgement on my part.
Again I have been guilty of this, post-divorce and have come to learn the tough lesson that we have to learn to love each and every person in our life with the same intensity and same oneness if we truly want to be in our highest and best avatar. I know that is pretty much like being an angel, and that is where we are headed for soon – the 5th dimension where the angels are (I am referring to Ascension and 2012); so it is time to be compassionate, making love for all pour out equally. Just being honest, and it is only my opinion! We can agree to disagree...
The fourth one was ‘How much of your life do YOU live?’ Sadly, none of us are living our lives for purely ourselves…we have included in our lives the extensions of mother, father, children, pets, etc…and TOTALLY forgotten ourselves….we have started believing that the day off to the spa is the deserved time to ourselves…or that our lives are being lived through them, we have started living our OWN life in installments pushing ourselves to one far corner of the room to be attended to last. If we really look within we will know that the two hours of doing what makes me happy, daily, without guilt, without explanations to anybody will make a vast difference to them also – not just add to the feeling that we are living OUR lives. They must be doing the same for us, have we ever thought of that? Why not just start now and encourage them to do the same? Not selfishly, but with the understanding that sometimes our lives fly by living it for others. We can all live our lives for ourselves, as much as for others; if we choose to. We are important in the whole deal too.
‘How many friends do you have?’ This question has always amazed me whenever anyone has ever asked me, and every time I used to come up with a number. In my teen age years I believed the number was in seven-eight hundreds! Oh I was so greedy then! Then at work it was in hundreds! Then after marriage it came down to about fifty! Then after the child it was his five friends and their moms so that made it about ten! Then after divorce it was again in hundreds! AHA! See how it changes? After thirty (true age) a ‘yummy mummy’ divorcee was great fun to be! This is when I was being needy! Then ‘fatigue’ caught up and it was back to about fifteen! Finally recession came in and then there was none!
Having no option at all I finally decided to become my own best friend and I can tell you she’s a great gal! And if anyone chooses to be her friend she is fine with that too! Even though she loves numbers she’s not counting anymore.
Having come this far, what does the evidence suggest?
Thanks for being my co-traveller. We will share more journeys through time and space, in good health, joy and abundance - if you choose to.
Respectfully yours,
Respectfully yours,
Lats of Love. (It’s just another name!)
© 2010 Latika Tripathi
