A name is a name is a name after all.
I do know what it feels like to believe in Numerology so much that one would be ridiculous enough to change their name twice – legally, not just ‘trying it out for fun’.
Being an Indian National such an act means the arrival of a lot of bureaucracy and standing in long queues, months of follow up procedures and many more things to put it very mildly. Yet I did it all…yes, right down to changing my name on my Son’s passport, even though the mother is the same her name had changed which means his passport shows my old as well as the new name.
All along I was expecting the Golden egg to be delivered with the morning newspaper, soon after the name change. When that didn’t quite happen, I changed it again!
What I didn’t know then was that the egg was inside me and I would have to pull it out of myself. In fact only I was qualified to do that. Those days were the days I was without Spirituality and was perpetually looking out. Which left brained human could have imagined that it, the egg would be so cleverly concealed inside the body to be found only with the continued use of the right brain?
Now that I am totally into it, that it being myself - all the time diving deeper into myself, going deeper and deeper, and deeper and deeper: and within me I find it all. In this world of mine which is within me the virtual is actually the real. And what we call real is but a skit coming to an end soon. Yes the skit has an expiry date when all time stops.
So just this afternoon I was playing in the REAL (or some may prefer to see it as virtual) world within me with my yet-unborn, yet un-adopted daughter. We played in the Sun and on the green grass and in that beautiful space I was whispered her name…
I’m okay with calling her whatever the adoption agency has on record and that name is just perfect for me and don’t really need a name, I wanted to say; but couldn't.
It was whispered to me nevertheless.
Having been a very name oriented person from the point of view of numbers and being an excellent numerologist – for six or more years were invested in learning and then making the learning 'better', I started adding up the numbers in my sub-conscious state of mind and simultaneously continued to play with her. Even though I knew I would really not change my adopted daughter’s name, the adding up was just for fun.
In that space I am able to do many things with precision and without any effort, that is the true state of our being, and it comes naturally to do it all simultaenously. So as we continued to play, I could see the numerology for her name and then that number being matched with other names.
And since her date of birth is not clear, I matched it to my name – my birth name. It matched perfectly.
And then to my present name – it matched perfectly again.
In that moment of playing with her, I gazed into her eyes and I saw the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost pouring out so much of love from those big eyes straight into my heart, and the name was printed out clearly in my Heart Chakra…
We continued to play and I saw her tiny hands and fingers and the soft skin and then she smiled, the smile that said it all. The most important thing it said, she’s coming very soon to me, and switching roles right before my eyes. Watch closely now, there are no co-incidences only synchronicities. She knows I play with the divine rhythm of the Universe, and I am watching closely with every heartbeat that sings out in joy and gratitude for allowing me to witness this miracle.
Take good care of her is what the Father had said.
I will call her Cookie – and dress her up in girly stuff and be the mamma or momma. I am so looking forward to doing this all over again - being a better mom too now - I am certain, having learnt so much from my Son - who graduated from mamma to mom in no time at all and walks taller by a head. And the Son will learn from her too when he figures more about the Holy Ghost.
I have agreed to take good care of her and am eternally grateful to her for she had agreed to be my baby girl without any hesitation when we met up last, even though it is a virtual world for some. 'Yes I will be your child. I'm coming to trouble you now', were the famous last words to me spoken from the sub-conscious mind of a beautiful soul who channeled this for me.
For every Father who thinks from his heart we have the Child who continues to take conscious decisions from the mind. He comes back because he knows sub-consciously that the loving hearts will forgive him.
For every Father who thinks from his heart we have the Child who continues to take conscious decisions from the mind. He comes back because he knows sub-consciously that the loving hearts will forgive him.
My pact was with her. It has been signed in words and sealed with unconditional love. I wish a safe departure from where she is and a joyous delivery into my life.
I have waited very long for this and finally it’s my turn to play too. Bring out the lego, the clay, the mud-castles, soft toys and rag dolls and the fairy dust of the entire Angelic realm. We are going to talk to the fairies in the trees and flowers. And make our scrap books where we stick the leaves that float from the trees. And Jungle Book will play again. We'll play eenie-meanie-miney-moes with the toes. Bring in the tiny shoes and baby clothes in all the colours of the rainbow, for she will grow up soon too. She’s my daughter to be now. And now is all we have...
On waking up I thought that the name is perhaps the way for me to identify her at the adoption moment or could it be the way for others to know her...whatever it is, one thing is certain - this name belongs to God’s favourite child…everyone already knows that.
On waking up I thought that the name is perhaps the way for me to identify her at the adoption moment or could it be the way for others to know her...whatever it is, one thing is certain - this name belongs to God’s favourite child…everyone already knows that.
Taking a bow to the divinity within that grants me everything!
Expectantly yours,
Latika.
© 2010 Latika Tripathi.
