I have a hunch!

               My mom and I had been at loggerheads from the earliest time that I could recall. Only recently have we resolved it from the root, when I witnessed a series of healing sessions for her in ThetaHealing(R).  I have been working very sincerely on myself for two years now to become clean and clear from within using various healing modalities. She has noticed this change in me, more so after I learnt ThetaHealing™ and about two months ago asked me to start sending her healing as we have been living in different countries since last year. It’s wonderful to finally start sharing a loving and respectful relationship with her. It’s even more enjoyable as we do this with an awareness that we chose to be mother and daughter, and now that we have cleared all our soul contracts for our highest and best.

               This was not always the case though. One of her favourite sentences comes to mind as she traumatized me through my growing years with it – ‘You have a hunch!’ - pointing towards my back.

               Yes it is true, I do. And I am very happy to hunch when I want to. I can say that now, but those days it was the ‘worst’ thing to hear about yourself - especially from someone who was supposed to give you unconditional love, no matter what. And watching all those Hindi movies as I grew up reinforced the belief that she must be a step-mom to treat me so badly – mothers love their kids – which she obviously didn’t.

               The more she said it, when I was hunched over my books, or my needlework (I was very adept at embroidery, cross-stitch, tatting, knitting and sewing etc.) – the more I did hunch over it. I knew it irritated her even more when I did that and those days the philosophy of being loving to your enemy was not part of my consciousness. Tit for tat was the swiftest way to deal with anything. What she didn’t like, I would do more – sweet revenge!

               Strangely, the more I hunched the better the output of my labour would be. I made some beautiful pieces of handkerchiefs – with embroidery and with lace, napkins, table cloths, lace for my tops, sweaters for the dolls (yes, I was knitting at 9 years or so), and a real big size sweater for the first boyfriend – all made in my favourite hunched up position.

               Finally she stopped saying it in that tone and in those words, but continued to nevertheless bring it up now and then, in more innovative ways. ‘Who will marry you?’ – and if I pretended not to understand what she was referring to she would give a very pointed glare toward the back. Or ‘How will you get a job in a five star hotel if you stand like this?’ (I was studying Hotel Management those days), or even ‘We spent so much money on your braces but what can we do about your back?’ and on rare good days ‘The face is nice, but the posture spoils it’.

               By now I didn’t even care. The men had arrived in my life and did they even notice the hunch? No way, there was so much else to do. I was feeling good and what she said had no effect whatsoever on the conscious mind. I do realize now that she had after all managed to play on the sub-conscious mind very well, because I stood up just a little bit straighter when in the company of people. Sometimes I would lean against the wall to make sure my back was straight, while people thought I was just tired and so supporting myself with the wall!

               Impressing people apart, I still hunch. I have realized to my horror that it is my favourite position to be in. I wake up in the morning to find that I had been hunching in my sleep. I get out of bed and after a few hunches in the toilet (you know brushing and the like), I am ready to hunch over towards the Sun God. Then comes the hunch with the newspaper and the coffee (more milk, little coffee powder, no sugar). Then I hunch over the laptop and facebook and various emails are all sent out while completely hunching over every word!

               Finally I sit down to meditate, very upright! AHA! Now this is one thing I do not hunch over, as I have been told that the chakras need to be open and the back must be rather straight when we do this. Maybe I will straighten up permanently if all I do is meditate. For now, after meditating it is back to hunching over the plants, the phone calls, the bed, the wardrobe, the fridge, the sink etc. I hunch in the theatre, in the salon, in the bookstore and at the ATM machine too.

               I forgot to mention this earlier, once when I was rather young and my mom went on and on for days about my hunch I told her maybe I was the Hunchback of Notre-Dame previously. What I got was a slap in the face and ‘badtameez’  (very filmi! Did you notice how this word is a mix of English and Hindi…see ‘BAD’ and ‘TAMEEZ’…meaning “not good” and “manners”)…but now with all the Past Life Regressions that I have been through for myself and others, I do believe that could be closer to the truth than any one would imagine.

               How else can you explain the amazing pull, almost magnetic feeling that I FEEL for the Notre-Dame…? Just seeing a picture is enough, in fact just a thought is too and I feel I am there, in another time. I feel it in every part of my being and I almost see myself as the Hunchback of Notre-Dame going up to sound the bell.

               The first time I visited the Notre-Dame in Oct 2005, all I wanted to do was sit outside hunched over a cigarette (I smoked then), and look up (still hunched up) at the beautiful facade – the desire to go up and toll the bell was so strong, almost overwhelming and I couldn’t quite understand why.

               I finished the cigarette and still did not want to go inside this beautiful monument. So I walked across the road and got myself a crepe and found another spot to sit, still able to see the entire place, hearing the bell made my heart jump with joy (Quasimodo was deaf because of the bell ringing!). And as I hunched, I munched on the crepe as much as my thoughts; feeling this feeling that I have been here before! Just another un-explained pull. (I didn’t know about Past Lives then).

               Finally I went in and made a confession to the Priest (about something else, not that I thought that I was the Hunchback returned) - who told me to ‘love myself first’ – and at that time I believed he was taking to me; NOW I realize this Priest was talking to the Hunchback in me ! Perhaps he did recognise me as the Hunchback after all!

               Armed with the Past Life Regression technique and my hunch all I can say is – I have a hunch that I may be the Hunchback, so what’s important now is that I go BACK and get the proof…

               Past life regressing here I come, show me the Hunchback!

               Or should I simply just trust my hunch?

               Love and Laughter,

               Honour and Gratitude!

               Latika.

              P.S. Do you have a favourite position? And have you had any hunches that came true? Was the Hunchback of Notre-Dame a real person, click on the link below to know more...

     http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/artsandentertainmentbooksreview/7945634/Real-life-Quasimodo-uncovered-in-Tate-archives.html

                      (c) 2010 Latika Tripathi (to the article not the link!)